Esther rehydrates

February 8

Esther wasn't feeling too well this morning and decided to stay home to rehydrate and recuperate.

I couldn't quite decide if I wanted to travel to Limulunga by myself. I asked Rachel if she wanted to join but she had committed to returning to Malingwa clinic. I thought about going with her but felt that I was also committed. Mind made, I went out to the road to go back to the clinic.

I stepped out to the road and could immediately hear children's voices calling, "Makuwa, makuwa, how are you?" "Fine, how are you?" I reflexively responded. I crossed to the other side of the road to wait for a minibus. I could still hear the word makuwa but in adults' voices too. It was starting to get to me today.

Yes! I'm white! I'm not from here! Many of you have seen us already, though, because we've been here for weeks. It's unbelievable that the novelty still goes on. There is something intensely discomforting about being part of a slim minority and continuously being reminded of it. Everywhere we go, people stare at us. Some point fingers, some call out to us, and others try to catch our attention to impress their friends. The first time it happened, I laughed and felt like I was famous. It wasn't long before I felt more like I was in a side-show.

I pulled out my phone and made a quick call home. I needed some grounding. I needed something to remind me that one day I'll return somewhere where nobody will look at me or speak to me if I don't want them to. It sounds ridiculous but this is a place where we always stand out. It makes me crave anonymity.

With that, the bus arrived and I was off to Limulunga.

When I arrived, I felt like my mind was separating from my body. My legs were propelling me forward while my mind argued to stay behind. It's sort of like when you're new to nursing and you pace outside a patient's room before entering. What will I say? What will they look like? What should I do? And then you just steel yourself and walk in.

I got to the clinic and walked into OPD. Fortunately, Annie was working again and we had a fantastic time. This time, she handed the patients' records to me and asked me to do the talking (and everything else). She would translate and I would ask the questions, jot down the complaints, write out my impressions, and prescribe medications with her help on doseages.

At first, I was nervous to be stepping outside my role like that. At home, I might offer my thoughts but I would never diagnose and prescribe. Here, rural nurses are expected to do all that and with a year less of education. Together, we did our best and I had a really good time and felt confident.

The day zipped right by and, before I knew it, I was right back home again.

Also, side note, on Monday, Esther and I saw the delivery of a baby... placenta! We heard that a woman was about to give birth and we ran over. Moments before we arrived, the baby popped out but we did get to see a placenta ooze and gush out. Delightful.